from @ThrowRA_Nice_Fuel_29
TLDR; husband upset a man tattooed me
I recently started a traditional sleeve. It’s going to be pieced together and I found a really good (male) artist nearby. I don’t know many women in my area who do trad style, I really like his work, and he had availability and great prices so I just went for it. The first one I got, my husband was fine with. I told him before I reached out to the artist, showed him his IG, showed him the flower I was getting. After the appointment, I called him to let him know it went well, he was cool, and he’s a powerlifter so we talked about the gym a lot.
The artist had missed a spot and had let me know to come in and he would give me a good price on my next one. So I sent him a couple of things and made an appointment for two more (my arm felt so incomplete with just one!). My husband knew about this appointment. The day of (yesterday), he was very distant. I invited him to come with me, but he said no. So I left, got them done, and came home. Now it’s been almost 24 hours and he has not really spoken to me.
Today he came to me and said he’s upset because I let another man mark me forever before he got to mark me.
He knew I wanted a sleeve. I’ve been showing him pictures of tattoos for months. He knows I have had issues with my body my whole life. He knew I never felt confident enough to be myself and do the things i want to do – and he was happy that I was finally trying to become the person I always wanted to be. My insta is literally full of girls working out, traditional tattoos, and girls working out with tattoos. I’ve wanted them for YEARS and I’m finally doing it.
Edit: he is not and has never been a tattoo artist.
Editor’s Opinion by Kate
My first thought was: RED FLAG!!!
Honestly, my second and third thoughts were also that this is such a red flag. This reads as possessive, insecure, lacking the ability to communicate, and mind-numbingly immature. And that’s being generous.
If he was a tattoo artist, I’d almost get it. Of course he would have needed to communicate that he wanted to tattoo her first piece, but at least that would make a little bit of sense. He’s not a tattoo artist, so it’s a moot point.
It’s also fair if he doesn’t like tattoos and they had a discussion about it as husband and wife. That doesn’t give him the right to dictate whether she gets one or not. It doesn’t even give him the right to stop her from getting many. But it’s completely okay to share your concerns and reservations and have an adult conversation, especially as a married couple. It doesn’t sound like he did that either. If he tried to have a conversation, he clearly didn’t make his thoughts or need for conversation clear enough.
Maybe some therapy would be helpful to work on communication? Really, he’s just insecure and OP you did nothing wrong. I’m glad you’re feeling more confident in your body and keep doing you, OP!